Sitting here with “Writer’s Block” led me to think, rather weirdly, about Lilo’s bottom. This is a fairly desperate state of affairs in terms of writing.
This week Lilo added to her Embarrassing Bodies portfolio.
It was a rare and lovely sunny day for a trip to the park. Lilo was trotting happily ahead, when suddenly she stopped and did a strange canter-stop-turn-circle-stop-almost sit-don’t sit-look amazed routine. This captured the attention of a group of elderly ladies out for a stroll.
Lilo then began a series of amazing very fast half running scoots which led her straight into the midst of the elderly ladies. As I got closer I could see a blade of grass protruding from her bottom (Lilo’s). This was obviously Armageddon for Lilo and immediate measures called for.
With a plastic-bag-gloved hand I pulled out a huge length of semi-digested spaghetti-like grass. I had to blot out the horrified stares of the elderly. The success of the procedure sent Lilo into a state of excited mania and once the grass was removed, she took off in a racing circle as if she had been shot in the very same rear.
The elderly group departed almost as quickly as Lilo did, but in a straight line. They were probably feeling sick and having tape worm discussions.
Her bottom behaviour didn’t end there, so to speak. We had friends for dinner recently. We were sitting around the table chatting. Suddenly, from a deep sleep, Lilo exploded off her bed; catapulted into the air and landed next to the table where she sat in an advanced Yoga position. She then proceeded to make extremely loud and intense sucking slurping noises – her nose buried in her bottom, but from the front, hips curved and splayed in an impossible montage of legs and ears, but no sign of her head, which had completely disappeared. It was a Salvador Dali moment.
The cause of this unwelcome dinner time entertainment remains a mystery. Things have been ticked off: definitely not worms, as she is treated for them. Not a flea, ditto as for worms. Not anal gland issues as there is no evidence and no “carpet scooting”. Maybe she just didn’t like the dinner guests. They did leave early come to think of it. Well you would, wouldn’t you?
Greyhound hips are also weird. They are bony looking one minute, hare-like at times, such propelling muscle-machines in their youth, can pop out babies - yet not that crash hot to sit down with. Very strange.
Lilo is having fun being a Canine Friend. She has a list of residents that she visits once a fortnight. It is really great to see the very real pleasure that she brings to the residents and staff alike.
However, there is no escaping the Embarrassing Bodies portfolio. We knocked at a pre-selected dog loving resident’s door but before there was an answer; Lilo had nudged the door open and gently made her way in.
The resident was sitting in her chair and looking out of the window. She didn’t see Lilo sneak in and had no idea that she was sharing her room with a greyhound. As she turned with her piece of lemon cake in hand (heading mouth-wards), she was stunned to see that her cake had a pair of inhaling black nostrils on the end of it.
Lilo’s manners are impeccable (she only sniffed the cake) and the surprised lady, being avid dog lover – thought it hilarious and smothered Lilo with loving cuddles.
All up I think it’s pretty amazing that strange bottoms, weird hips, oh so long noses and twitching nostrils can morph into the most elegant and beautiful creature on earth.